today.

WARNING: this blog is EXTREMELY boring. i noe i said i would talk about nepal, but im kind of in a hurry to get this done because im about to leave. I couldnt think of what to write about in this blog, SO, im going to write about how my day went. i noe, how original! deal with it. i need to make that 300 to 400 words. SOOO,


today was pretty fun. it was food fair and my birthday. i guess i wasnt much excited about my birthday. but the food fair was pretty fun.
my morning started with me getting to school and seeing brianna and christina trying to decorate my locker. i didnt let them, so instead, they gave me the poster. i put it inside my locker, which was NOT organized at all. christina had baked me some cupcakes, which she put inside a big box/container. i had to carry that with me almost the whole day. then, princess calls me and tells me to go downstairs. she had baked me brownies. i took a few bites out of it and everyone else took most of it. i had to go to pe with the cupcakes and brownies. throughtout the whole day, it was just like that.

lunch came, i waited for my friend then went to the gym. the food fair was being held inside the gym because it was going to rain. the gym was packed with lots of people. there was music playing. every where you turned, there was some kind of food. it was cool. me and brenda wanted our ticket to new moon so we called up some people and went to the theater. brenda and some other people had to go somewhere else. me and brianna bought our ticket and then went back to school. when we were walking, it started raining. i liked it very much because i love the rain.

I wish

I feel like I'm causing people so much pain and trouble. Not just people I love and care for, but people in general. I think I'm the reason for all their worries and all that. I feel like I'm always thinking about me and myself. Never about them, their feelings, and their opinion. That is why I wanted to write this blog this week.

I know I dont say this much, but I do love my parents. 80 percent of the time, I strongly dislike them. But right now, I am in the 20 percent. I do realize and apreciate all the things they have done for me. Like how we moved to the appartment we are living in for now just so I could come to Alameda High. We used to live very close to Encinal High. I went to Wood Middle School, and I was signed up to go to Encinal High. But my parents knew that I didnt want to go to Encinal, so they started looking for a place to move to. This whole moving thing was all for me, my brother still goes to the same Elementry school as he did before we moved. I realize that the only reason they want me to get good grades is that they want me to get good education. Okay, maybe not the ONLY reason, but that is one of the main reasons. They have done so much for me and I still dont show much apreciation. I am the reason my mom works more hours than needed. I am the reason there are arguments and fights in my house. I wish I could find a way to fix this and actually show how much I care.

When I went back to Nepal over the summer before freshmen year started, I wanted to visit one of my best friends. We were best friends since the very begining. But somehow, I always ended up making excuses about how busy I was and stuff when all I did was sit on my ass all day long. I feel hella bad and so guilty.

I know a lot of people that don't have any regrets, and I envy them so much. It really easy for me to regret what I do and how I do things. :/

this week

So guess who decided to do their blog at the very last minute? yup, thats right. me! I told myself I was gonna write this up thursday, but guess what? I didnt. Wow, I actually had plans for this week's blog. I was gonna write about what Sutherland suggested, about where I'm from. Nepal. But I dont really feel like talking about that this week. Maybe I'll write it next week.

This week was really stressing. We didnt have school on wednesday, and we had no block periods. It was 6 period days the whole week. The fact that we had a day off on wednesday gave hella teachers an excuse to load us with stupid homeworks. I had so much things to do. If it was a block day, I could have not done it and gotten away with it. But NOOO, it was 6 period days. Everything is due the next day. Since there was no school on wednesday, tuesday felt like a friday, and thursday felt like a monday. I had a test in Algebra 2, an oral exam in spanish 3 on thursday, and an essay in history. Dont even get me started in Chemistry. We have a test on monday, and I have no idea what this unit is about.

I feel like we don't have enough hours in a day. I mean, we wake up around 6 or 7, go to school for EIGHT hours where you have SO many homeworks. Then you go home and try to get your homeworks done, and before you know it, its time to go to bed. I have been up untill 12 a.m. or 1 a.m. trying to finish my school work, and even then, I'm still not doing good in school.I just want a day where I dont have to worry about anything. I want to learn how to calm myself down. There isn't a time where I'm not worried about one thing or another. My friends tell me to breathe in and breathe out. I tried. I dont know how to push weird thoughts away from my mind.

Well I guess I've talked about my issues enough. I'm done for now. untill next week. (:

My Second Statement Of Purpose

My original goal was to write about threading. I have not been writing about it once after we started blogging. I guess that means that I should pick a goal that does not involve just one topic. After looking over my blog, I noticed that I have been writing about lots of different topics. I don’t like how I write or what I write about though. My writing seems so boring to me. I have a hard time trying to find something to write about each week, so the best I can do is write about my week and make it at least 300 words and I'm done.
So here is my new goal in writing: I want my writing to look more professional. When someone looks at it, I want them to think that I know what I'm talking about.
My first goal in general is that I want to stop procrastinating. because of procrastination, I have been doing really bad in school lately. I have an F in Spanish for this quarter. It all came down to a notebook check, and I had literally nothing on mines. I had about 13 things in it out of 60 things. I know, how great. It was all because I always thought I had time to do them so I was never worried. I wasn't worried until the last day of the quarter where my teacher asked us to leave our notebook with her, I was horrified. When I got it back, I was really afraid to to check the grade. But I guess I kind of deserved that grade because of how I never actually did anything in that class.
My second goal is that I want to stop thinking in such a negative way about myself. I know everyone says this and Other people think it's not that big a deal. But to me, it is a huge deal because whatever I do I don't think I'm good enough. Most people would be like, "then why don't you try harder?" If I'm not good enough for something, I give up on it. I stop caring about it. This is what happened with most of my work. All my classes, I think it's too hard so I wont even try, or I think that I'm not good enough to make something or play some kind of sport, so I wont even try it at all.